Fictional Fun

My daughter Cara and I sat around one cold winter day last year and dreamed up a character that was a cranky, cantankerous, crusty old uncle. The scenario was that he had to watch a very, very bored 8 year old nephew and we dreamt up things he would say to the poor kid to keep him busy and away from his uncle.

Hey Look Kid Here's...

An umbrella, you're a Japanese lady
A book, your're smart
Scissors, you're a barber, go talk to your mother
Soap, you're clean
an apron, you're a cook tonight
A cardboard box
A stick and a blanket, you're an Indian
your thumb, you're a hitchiker
The grass, you're in Hawaii
A basket, you're the Easter Bunny
A quarter, you're the tooth fairy
Go climb the chimney, you're Santa
A candle, you're a jack-o-lantern
An ice cube, you're an Eskimo
A knife, you're a samurai, go talk to your Uncle Tony about that bet we made last night
A pillow, you're a pregnant lady
A bucket of soap, you're Cinderella
You can walk, you're a model
A dot, you're from India
A tub of water, you're a deep sea diver
A paper airplane, you're an astronaut
I'll poke your eye out, you're a pirate
At your clothes, you're a hobo
A hose, you're a firefighter
A cross, go fight the vampires
A leaf, you're greek
A leaf, you're adam
A washcloth, you're your mother
A flashlight, turn out the lights you're a train.
A bottle of wine, you're your Uncle Tony
Some dirt and your finger, you're a painter
Some twigs, you're a beaver
My ring, you're a king
Your mothers shoes, you're an elf
A triangle, you're in the symphony
A cowbell, you're a rock star
A nail, you're a carpenter
Use your eyeballs, laser tag, talk to your mother
Your mothers earrings, its a basketball hoop
Don't talk, you're a mime
A match, you're Satan
Some cheese, you're French
At your smile, you're from West Va
Some duct tape
Take off your clothes, you're Lady Godiva
A mask, you're spiderman
A doughnut, you're a cop
A tree, you're a hippie
An egg, you're a hen
An apple, you're William Tell
A carrot and two pieces of coal, you're a snowman
Some tinfoil, you're an antenna
You're a vampire, go bite your sister
A hat, you're a magician
A screwdriver, you're a burglar
A virus, go play with your little friends
Stand by the side of the road, you're a stop sign
Some flour, you're old
A chair, you're your grandpa
The classifieds, find a job
A suitcase, you're a tourist
A needle, you're a seemstress
Some breadcrumbs, you're Hansel and Gretel
A glove, you're Michael Jackson
A rock, it's your pet
A barbie, you've got a date
A lottery ticket, you're a loser